The straight pride committee is causing an uproar this week. The annual Straight Pride parade and rally normally held at the capitol has been changed. They now have decided to make it a more community centered event by bringing it downtown. Shouts of “We're loud, we're proud, we're straight, it's great!” can already be heard in the streets of the city.

“It's unusual to see this many straight people all at once in this part of town.” Said one local resident. Some shopkeepers though are glad to have the business. One local business owner who wanted to remain anonymous told us, “When this many straight people gather together they are going to spend a lot of money”.

Tomorrow is the first day of celebrations. There will be a flea market style event on main street sidewalks. Clowns, magicians, and other straight performers will be on hand to entertain the crowds. The theme this year is: “We've always been here”. There will be workshops for those who want to reveal their straightness to the world. Joe Smith, one of the instructors who has a workshop entitled “It's not shameful to be straight anymore” told us;”I hope we can bring more straight people out of the closet, but what's more important is getting people to see that just because we're straight doesn't mean we're evil or something.”

There have already been protests targeting the straight community. We caught up with the leader of the local chapter of “Straightbusters”, who had this to say about the rally. “We don't need those damned straights in our town. It's demeaning to our way of life, and it's not healthy for our children to see all those heteros acting like it's normal, like that's the right way to be. Men with women, women with men: What's this world coming to? I can't even walk down the street without seeing some straight guy holding a straight girls hand. It's just wrong I tell you.”

Police Chief W.E. Beatum Told us that he was dressing out extra officers for tomorrows events. Beatum said,”Even though the straight pride committee has all the proper permits, that won't stop the hate groups like straightbusters from trying to crash the party”. The chief had to cut our interview short as his dress blue skirt and jacket had just returned from being altered and he wanted to make sure it fit right before the big party tomorrow.

So if you want to join the party it promises to be a full day with all kinds of events, or you may just want to avoid the crowds and enjoy a nice musical on the television with a bowl of ice cream and your cat.

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