Redneck Advice

This is where you can get all your questions answered by our panel of experts. We reserve the right to edit letters for Content and lenth. Typographical errors may saved to preserve the redneck ambiance of the letters.

Dear Redneck Advisor,

I have a problem I hope you can help me with. Our icebox is on the blink.(editors note: icebox is redneck for refrigerator.) My wife thinks we should get a new one, but if we do that I won't be able to get that tower antenna for my cb-radio. What should I do?

Puzzled in Alabama

Dear Puzzled,

Doesn't your wife understand that a CB radio is one of the necessities of a properly maintained redneck lifestyle? I say go for the new antenna. You can always keep food cold in a bathtub filled with ice, since you can always bathe in the nearest creek, or local swimming hole. If your bathing resources are too far away, you can wait for rain, and shower.

Thank you for your letter.

Bubba Jones, Redneck Advisor Expert

Dear Redneck Advisor,

I just heard about the latest bug goin' around, the Y2K bug. How would you suggest I avoid getting it?

Hypochondriac in Ga

Dear Hypochondriac,

Drink plenty of orange juice, or maybe get some vitamin C tablets at your local drugstore. Get plenty of rest, and exercise, and make sure you're eating right. A Flu shot couldn't hurt.

Joe Bob White, Redneck Advisor Expert