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"The-Satirist" is a humor site that will parody, satirize, joke about, and make interesting observations about anything I can think of.
Have you ever caught the same fish twice? How about three times? More? Well I have. I used to share a hunting lease with a buddy of mine and his friend. I never really was much good at hunting but it had a swamp with a creek running through it. Nothing spectacular, just a small creek, but I thought it would be nice for quiet times alone and to take the family away from the crowds. We fished there almost every weekend. The kids had a blast catching all the rather small bluegills and the occasional tiny channel catfish. Once in a while a small bass would be reeled in. Nothing even close to legal size to keep, but it was all in all, a good time. There was an area just downstream from where we fished that opened up into an area about the size of a swimming pool, but was inaccessible due to briars, hornets, and very soft marshy ground. I wanted to fish it so one day I loaded my hook with stinkbait thinking there just may be a catfish keeper in there and cast it into the opening of the basin. Waited all morning while the kids fished and had a blast. Exactly at 9:15 am I got a bite. I lost it so I cast there again. Not another bite for the rest of the morning. We left at noon. The next Saturday we went again. Once again, I loaded my hook up with stinkbait and cast to the opening of the basin. I fished with another pole where the kids were fishing. Once again at exactly 9:15 am I got a bite. This time I had him. He had to be a big one, he bowed my rod almost in half. I fought him for over a minute, slowly working him up the creek to where we were. Suddenly the line went slack. I reeled in to find that my knot had come untied. The kids teased me about the fish untying my knot. We all had a good laugh and I re-baited and cast to the same area. Once again with no further bites. We kept fishing for the small ones and had fun. We left at lunchtime. The next Saturday was to again find us in the same spot. Once again at exactly 9:15 am, (I was waiting for him this time,) the bite came. I once again fought him for well over a minute. Once again my line went slack. (I thought to myself that the line couldn't have come undone this time since I tied a palomar knot instead of the light duty standard fisherman's knot.) I reeled in the slack line. (Fortunately there were witnesses to this event or no-one would have believed it.) As my line reeled in I noticed that my hook was still there, but as it came out of the water I noticed that the hook I lost the previous week was hanging on it. All the kids laughed and so did the wife. (I was married at the time.) I was teased all week about the fish that could untie knots and was kind enough to return the hooks. I was now determined to get this fish out of the water. I went back alone the following week. I cast at 9:00 and at 9:15 like clockwork the bite came and the fight was on. That fish didn't realize that I was ready this time. I fought that fish with slightly more finesse than I had used before. I got him close enough that I actually got to see him this time. He was HUGE in comparison to the other fish in the creek. He was over two feet long. All the other fish we had caught had been under six inches so he was truly a monster in this body of water. When he spotted me, he redoubled his efforts to escape and actually straightened my hook like it was a paperclip. I was in shock, and now truly in awe of this incredible creature. I knew it would do no good to cast again due to the previous weeks of experience, so I packed it up and headed home with yet another failure to share with the family. (I still have that straight hook.) I spent time at wal-mart looking at hooks and decided to get one the same size, but slightly thicker with the hopes that he wouldn't straighten it out. I headed to the swamp and got there in time for my "9 o'clock cast" (as it had come to be called.) 9:15 came and almost ripped the pole from my hands as I had lost my concentration watching the other wildlife in the area. The fight was on. I fought that fish with the concentration of a surgeon, and finesse, the likes of which I hadn't been known for prior to meeting my rival. I battled gently this fish, which I had grown to love during our time together, for more than fifteen minutes, letting him fight the bend of the rod and reeling when he slacked off. Fifteen minutes into the fight I saw him. I was elated to once again come into visual contact with my new "old friend." Another few desperate struggles and I had him at the bank. Not wanting to risk losing him again, I entered the water, soaking my shoes and pants, and laid hold of him. He was big. I had to lay down my pole to get both hands on him. I was at such an awkward angle, and he was so big that I actually had to drag him halfway onto the bank before I could actually pick him up. I had him, I finally had him. Thoughts ran through my mind of the feast he would make at our dinner table. I laid him on the bank, far from the water since I have seen catfish literally walk back in if set too close to the edge. As I was packing up all my gear I got a twinge of regret for wanting to take this beautiful animal out of an environment that he obviously had dominion over. Here was THE top line predator of this waterway and I was going to take him away from the place he ruled for countless years. Sure, someone would eventually take his place, but I was about to disturb the balance of this beautiful and precious ecosystem until that happened. In the end, the mighty catfish which had been a fierce foe, and a gallant warrior, won out. I took his measurements, (28.5 inches long,) and released him back to his kingdom. I never did go back there to fish again, since I had achieved my goal. That, and the fact that I didn't want to disturb the fish which had gained my respect in the most primal sense. I decided that I achieved something few people can ever do. I spent the summer with one wild fish. I had my summer defined by that one fish. He was my friend and my foe, all at the same time, meeting each week for one more challenge. He beat me out many times, and was still up for the challenge when I returned. The one time that I beat him was enough. I had a great summer and so did my family thanks to that one fish. I've often wondered if he is still there, still making his rounds at 9:15 am. I'm quite sure that he is since no one fishes there because there are only tiny fish. Little do they know, I have met the giant, and he is a fierce beast worthy of respect. Well, That's the most amazing fish story I have. It is completely factual. I did so love that fish and the adventures he took me on that summer. I will always, always remember "the summer of the cat." Hope you liked it.
Fancy yourself a humorist? You can submit your writings to The-Satirist. You will get full credit for your work if it's accepted for publication. You can send in jokes, Q&A, advice, satire, fiction, etc.. I'll consider all submissions as long as they fit the context of this website and they are not obscene or pornographic and do not cross the border of good taste. I've added a reader submission page where you'll be able to get the credit you deserve. (Or the blame) :) Check it out. There is one there already. Submit your work here. You may not feel that you want to contribute an article but would like to suggest a topic for me to satire. You may do that also. I reserve the right to edit for content, length, and typographical errors as well as spelling and grammar. If the errors are intended please let me know when you submit your work or you can host the material on your site and I'll be happy to post a link to it for you.
Unsubscribe from my newsletter This site forged 1-15-2004© All material on this site is copyright© by Chuck Calhoun. Email: author@the-satirist.com
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