Today the president of PeTA announced that next month they will be unveiling their newest ad campaign:

"Animals can't consent, Eat more people."

The President of PeTA held a press conference today. The transcript of that press conference follows in full.

Ladies and gentlemen of the world I would like to announce our new ad campagn. We plan to start the billboard ads next month with tv and radio spots to follow soon thereafter.

Animals can't consent, Eat more people.

We never would have thought of eating human as an animal meat substitute until we saw the news story about that guy in Germany who killed and ate the guy he met through the Internet. It was right then that we had an epiphany. At first some of us were quite shocked, but after following the story for quite some time we realized it had no measure of cruelty to it at all since it was fully, and mutually consensual.

Animals can't say "EAT ME!". I however had heard this phrase numerous times during our demonstrations from other carnivores. I had never thought that they were being literal. Now I will know that I have some real meat available that is truly cruelty free. I can even develop an understanding of his or her feelings before I ever take the first bite.

I know it seems like an unusual stance to take since we are always crying about cruelty, but it's not cruel to give someone what they want and if that someone wants to be food they should have the right to be food. If it saves the lives of those who can't consent to being eaten then we are all for it.

We are also petitioning government officials to make this a legal alternative in this country as well as others. We have several developers waiting to bid on the rights to make the very first humane slaughterhouse for humans.

In closing I'd like to say,"We're eating meat now, and that meat may be you."

Thank you.

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