My name is Bubba T. Jones. I'm a big fan of Nascar, but I got a problem with 'em this year. That problem is the sponsers.

S'posedly, folks is been whinin' 'bout the alcohol and tobacco sponsers of Nascar. So whadtheydo? Put up a tellyphone comp-ny to sponser the Nascar. Well don't that jes beat all? Now ain't no-one ever had a problem driving while using the tobacco, or alcohol sponsers product whilst they was driving, BUT I knows for a fact that folks talking on the phone whilst they's driving is a accident looking ta happen.

What's mo worse than that is these fools ain't gott nothin' better to do than drive down the road 35MPH half over the double yella line so's I can't pass 'em, yakkin in the phone. If I could shoot with my left hand I'd take my shotgun out the back winda and pop 'em one in the back tire just to git 'em off'n the road.

So now insteada having folks smokin', or drinkin' while theys drivin', waving to each other and socializin like naybers an all, ya gonna have a buncha folks that can't drive blabbin' on their tellyphones whilst makin' a hazard of themselfs drivin' 35MPH on the middle of the double yella lines in the hi-way.

And besides. Wats's so importint that ya gotta take a call in the car? I couldn't tell ya. Jes let's hava a understandin you an me huh? Next time you get the urge to pick up that phone whilst yer in yer car, just take a moment to look behind ya and see how many folks you gonna be gittin' ill at ya. Then consider that if it's more that 1, that 50 persent of us have a gun in the car. And if they's a whole lina cars behind ya, 50 persent have a gun in there car. 50 persent of them can prob'ly shoot southpaw. 50 persent of them might can even shoot pretty good that way. Out of them 50 persent maybe 10 persent would axuly be nuts enuf to axuly fire one off at ya back tire. So look at the odds. 1+50=51+50=101+50=151+50=201+50=251+10=261 So I'd suggest that you got a 261 persent chance of gittin yer back tire shot out whilst yer drivin' and talkin on the phone at the same time driving down the middle of the double yella line going 35MPH. So save yoself the trouble of walking to get a new tire 'cause yers got shot out.

"Hang Up And Drive"

The hi-way ain't Nascar. You don't need to talk to your spotter, so just hang up the phone!

I'm Bubba T. Jones, and that's what I think.

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This site forged 1-15-2004©

All material on this site is copyright© by Chuck Calhoun.